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Missing Scenario #9

by Christopher Garcia

‘Twas a gloomy and rainy day at Rocket Town. Cid had unpredictably invited everyone over for a last minute tea party. Unfortunately, his little outing was rained out. Everyone sat in his and Shera’s brand new dream cottage looking for something to do.

Barret: This is stupid! I didn’t want to come over for tea, anyway! And you said there’d be pizza!

Cid: Quit complaining!

Aeris: I have an idea! Let’s play a game. What do you want to play, Cloud?

Cloud: Anything you want…:wink, wink:

Tifa: :Grumbles:

Aeris: But I don’t know what to play.

(Just then, Cid’s baking timer goes off.)

Cid: Oh, goodie! My cake is finished!

Vincent: What kind is it?

Cid: French Vanilla! I also have some strawberry icing with little sprinkles in it!

Vincent: Really? If I help, can I lick the spoon?

Cid: Why, of course!

(They both walk off cheerfully into the kitchen.)

Cloud: Okay…that was weird.

Yuffie: So, what are we going to play? Wait a sec, what’s rubbing against my leg?

Tifa: It’s Cid’s cat, Mr. Snookums!

Aeris: Isn’t he cute?

All Girls: Yep.

Red XIII: I know what we can play! Have you ever heard of Dungeons and Dragons?

Cait Sith: Not that game! You’re going to make me get eaten by some horrible dragon.

Red XIII: I promise that a dragon won’t eat you. (I have something better in mind.)

Barret: Who can I be?

Red XII: You get to be…the princess’s bodyguard!

Yuffie: Am I the princess?

Red XII: No way! Let’s make things more interesting. Cloud’s going to be the princess.

Cloud: What!?

Aeris and Tifa: Hee hee hee…

Tifa: Oh, Red XII…how about if we make Yuffie the prince?

Cloud: That’s it! I’m out of here! Tea is for sissies, anyway!

(Cloud runs out and slams the door.)

Aeris: Oh, well…we might as well get this game started! Let’s start over.

Red XII: Okay! Aeris will be the white mage, and…

Aeris: Hey! Wait a sec! Why do I always have to be a peaceful loving character? I want to be a broad, sword-heaving knight!

Red XII: Okay, fine. Tifa will be known as Tifa the Thief!

Tifa: Yes!

Red XII: Barret gets to be the Gatekeeper of Enlightenment!

Barret: Cool!

Red XIII: Yuffie gets to be Tifa’s assistant!

Yuffie: Oh, boy…

Red XIII: Cait Sith can be the abominable snowman!

Cait Sith: Okay!

Vincent: Cake time!

Cid: We made it with love.

Vincent: Mr. Snookums gets the first piece!

(Everyone eats cake.)

Aeris: Yum!

Tifa: Sweet!

Yuffie: Smooth!

Cait Sith: I don’t eat cake.

Vincent: Delicious!

Barret: A tasty delight in every bite!

(Everyone claps.)

Red XIII: I don’t know why you people are obsessed with cake! I’ve had enough. I’m leaving.

Tifa: Cid? Would you please take Red XIII’s place?

Cid: Sure! Okay…Vincent will be an archer!

Vincent: Excellent!

Cid: Okay…do you want to go North or East?

All: North!

Yuffie: East!

All: Shut up!

Cid: Alrighty then! You see a forest and a cart of gold.

Yuffie: Cart of gold! Cart of gold!

Vincent: Forest.

Cid: Forest it is!

Yuffie: I hate all of you!

All: Shut up!

Tifa to Cid: :whisper, whisper, whisper:

Cid: Heh, heh, heh. Anyway, you all go into the forest. Then all of a sudden, a giant dragon falls out of a tree and lands on Yuffie! Now, this dragon was very hungry, so it ate her.

Yuffie: You stupid people! You’re supposed to be my friends!

(Yuffie runs out and slams the door.)

Cait Sith: Hey! You’re supposed to be playing fair.

Barret: Shut up! Nobody likes Yuffie!

Cait Sith: I do!

Tifa: Oh my!

Cid: Get out of my pretty house! Now!

Cait Sith: Wait a second…

Cid: Out!

Cait Sith: You mean-heads!

(Cait Sith runs out and slams the door.)

Aeris: Too many people are leaving.

Tifa: I know!

Aeris: Oh, what do you know?

Tifa: You’re starting to get on my nerves. Speaking of which, I’ve been meaning to give you something for a long time now!

Aeris: Really? What?

Tifa: This!


Aeris: Oh yeah?


Barret: Ladies! Ladies! Calm yourselves!

Vincent: Yeah! We all know that you both like Cloud!

Aeris and Tifa: Uh…we don’t know what you’re talking about…

Cid: Isn’t it obvious?

Barret: Sure is!

Vincent: Tell ya what, I’ll flip a gil, and whomever it lands closest to gets to be Cloud’s girlfriend!

Tifa: That sounds fair.

Vincent: Here it goes!

(Silence fills the room. Anticipation was in the air, until…)

Cid: The coin landed near Barret!

Barret: Hey, wait a minute…

Aeris: No! This can’t be happening!

Tifa: Ditto!

Barret: This sucks! I’d rather be injected with Jenova cells and marry Scarlet than be Cloud’s girlfriend! I’m leaving!

(Barret runs out and slams the door.)

Aeris: I’m leaving too!

Tifa: Hey, wait for me!

(Aeris and Tifa run out and slam the door.)

Vincent: It looks like we’re all alone now.

Cid: What should we do?

Vincent: I know what we can do!

Cid: What?

Vincent: Bake another cake!

The End.

The End.