‘Twas a gloomy and rainy day at Rocket Town. Cid had unpredictably invited everyone over for a last minute tea party. Unfortunately, his little outing was rained out. Everyone sat in his and Shera’s brand new dream cottage looking for something to do.
Barret: This is stupid! I didn’t want to come over for tea, anyway! And you said there’d be pizza!
Cid: Quit complaining!
Aeris: I have an idea! Let’s play a game. What do you want to play, Cloud?
Cloud: Anything you want…:wink, wink:
Aeris: But I don’t know what to play.
(Just then, Cid’s baking timer goes off.)
Cid: Oh, goodie! My cake is finished!
Vincent: What kind is it?
Cid: French Vanilla! I also have some strawberry icing with little sprinkles in it!
Vincent: Really? If I help, can I lick the spoon?
Cid: Why, of course!
(They both walk off cheerfully into the kitchen.)
Cloud: Okay…that was weird.
Yuffie: So, what are we going to play? Wait a sec, what’s rubbing against my leg?
Tifa: It’s Cid’s cat, Mr. Snookums!
Aeris: Isn’t he cute?
All Girls: Yep.
Red XIII: I know what we can play! Have you ever heard of Dungeons and Dragons?
Cait Sith: Not that game! You’re going to make me get eaten by some horrible dragon.
Red XIII: I promise that a dragon won’t eat you. (I have something better in mind.)
Barret: Who can I be?
Red XII: You get to be…the princess’s bodyguard!
Yuffie: Am I the princess?
Red XII: No way! Let’s make things more interesting. Cloud’s going to be the princess.
Aeris and Tifa: Hee hee hee…
Tifa: Oh, Red XII…how about if we make Yuffie the prince?
Cloud: That’s it! I’m out of here! Tea is for sissies, anyway!
(Cloud runs out and slams the door.)
Aeris: Oh, well…we might as well get this game started! Let’s start over.
Red XII: Okay! Aeris will be the white mage, and…
Aeris: Hey! Wait a sec! Why do I always have to be a peaceful loving character? I want to be a broad, sword-heaving knight!
Red XII: Okay, fine. Tifa will be known as Tifa the Thief!
Red XII: Barret gets to be the Gatekeeper of Enlightenment!
Red XIII: Yuffie gets to be Tifa’s assistant!
Yuffie: Oh, boy…
Red XIII: Cait Sith can be the abominable snowman!
Cait Sith: Okay!
Vincent: Cake time!
Cid: We made it with love.
Vincent: Mr. Snookums gets the first piece!
(Everyone eats cake.)
Cait Sith: I don’t eat cake.
Barret: A tasty delight in every bite!
Red XIII: I don’t know why you people are obsessed with cake! I’ve had enough. I’m leaving.
Tifa: Cid? Would you please take Red XIII’s place?
Cid: Sure! Okay…Vincent will be an archer!
Cid: Okay…do you want to go North or East?
All: Shut up!
Cid: Alrighty then! You see a forest and a cart of gold.
Yuffie: Cart of gold! Cart of gold!
Cid: Forest it is!
Yuffie: I hate all of you!
All: Shut up!
Tifa to Cid: :whisper, whisper, whisper:
Cid: Heh, heh, heh. Anyway, you all go into the forest. Then all of a sudden, a giant dragon falls out of a tree and lands on Yuffie! Now, this dragon was very hungry, so it ate her.
Yuffie: You stupid people! You’re supposed to be my friends!
(Yuffie runs out and slams the door.)
Cait Sith: Hey! You’re supposed to be playing fair.
Barret: Shut up! Nobody likes Yuffie!
Cait Sith: I do!
Tifa: Oh my!
Cid: Get out of my pretty house! Now!
Cait Sith: Wait a second…
Cait Sith: You mean-heads!
(Cait Sith runs out and slams the door.)
Aeris: Too many people are leaving.
Tifa: I know!
Aeris: Oh, what do you know?
Tifa: You’re starting to get on my nerves. Speaking of which, I’ve been meaning to give you something for a long time now!
Aeris: Really? What?
Aeris: Oh yeah?
Barret: Ladies! Ladies! Calm yourselves!
Vincent: Yeah! We all know that you both like Cloud!
Aeris and Tifa: Uh…we don’t know what you’re talking about…
Cid: Isn’t it obvious?
Barret: Sure is!
Vincent: Tell ya what, I’ll flip a gil, and whomever it lands closest to gets to be Cloud’s girlfriend!
Tifa: That sounds fair.
Vincent: Here it goes!
(Silence fills the room. Anticipation was in the air, until…)
Cid: The coin landed near Barret!
Barret: Hey, wait a minute…
Aeris: No! This can’t be happening!
Barret: This sucks! I’d rather be injected with Jenova cells and marry Scarlet than be Cloud’s girlfriend! I’m leaving!
(Barret runs out and slams the door.)
Aeris: I’m leaving too!
Tifa: Hey, wait for me!
(Aeris and Tifa run out and slam the door.)
Vincent: It looks like we’re all alone now.
Cid: What should we do?
Vincent: I know what we can do!
Vincent: Bake another cake!